I’m aware that new parents tend to believe irrational things about their children that even the most unbalanced and exuberant mind would recognize as impossible, but I really, honestly believe that little Tater got cuter overnight.

Anyway, it’s time to announce the winner of the baby pool. I was afraid that there would be charges of professional misconduct when I released the information about the scheduled C-section. Fortunately, it seems that everyone who knows me, even online, understands that I would never cheat. What kind of role model would that make me, in my first official act as a father? But just to alleviate any lingering concerns, I swear that no one (including Mrs. Happy and me) knew about the C-section before making a guess.

I have never participated in, much less organized, a pool of any kind before. I don’t know how to run a pool any more than I know how to change a diaper. I’ve done both all by myself now, with roughly equal success. At least none of the pool participants slapped their feet in a pile of poop.

Things were complicated in the pool because nearly everyone guessed right on the sex, no one guessed right on the day, and no one guessed right on the weight. That gives us a 21-way tie, which to my competitive mind is unacceptable. The original rules are:

• 50 points for a correct prediction of sex, plus 25 additional points for each correct guess of twins’ sex if that happens (i.e., a correct prediction of twins earns 50 points, and correct prediction of both sexes earns 50 more points)
• 50 points for a correct prediction of birth date, minus one point for every hour between your time prediction and the actual time of birth
• 40 points for correct poundage prediction, plus 20 additional points for correct prediction of ounces

I am arbitrarily and unilaterally instituting these additional rules to break the tie:

• Anyone who didn’t guess boy gets 20 points for being bold and going against the ultrasound.
• Deb gets 25 points for guessing within 24 hours (barely) of the actual time of birth.
• Mrs. Happy gets 20 points for carrying a 10-pound-plus baby in her diminutive frame.
• Risha gets 25 points for guessing within one pound (barely) of the actual weight.
• Joe gets 10 points for guessing the correct number of extra ounces.
• I get fifteen points for being in the room during the birth.
• Matt and my dad get 10 points for guessing the time of birth within one hour.

In a way, we’re all winners. In another, more accurate way, Deb and Risha are the winners. For all of the winners in the general sense, your prize is the privilege of buying the new baby a gift from his wish list. For the winners in the specific sense, your prize is to have a stuffed animal named for you. Because they guessed so well, Tater will have a little plush duckling named Deb and an adorable plush donkey named Risha.

Thank you all for playing and for being excited along with me.

This entry was posted on Friday, November 4th, 2005 at 11:42 pm and is filed under Baby Stuff. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.